Tuesday, January 28, 2014

SOTU

I have a degree in Political Science, among others. I have no idea if that influences my joy of the evening, but the State of the Union address is like watching the Oscar's for me!

Eric is gone, off to Chicago for YFC Midwinter. That means that I get the television all to myself, which translates to my own unfettered, in the moment, response to the State of the Union, the commentators, and the official response to the State of the Union! Out loud. With no one to ask me t stop talking. Whee!!!

I've already started. I happen to have CBS on now, but that may change. I just corrected the commentator, who said that the Constitution requires that the president provide an update to Congress annually. This is inaccurate. The language of the Constitution is actually, "From time to time, the President shall..."

I may even follow along with this exercise game: http://www.washingtonpost.com/express/wp/2014/01/24/the-state-of-the-union-exercise-game/ (reprinted  below.)

Do a jumping jack every time you hear the words “health care,” “jobs,” “middle class,” “immigration” or “Edward Snowden.” It could happen. Maybe.

Hold a plank for 30 seconds after you hear the phrases: “My friends across the aisle” or “Let me be clear.” We never said this was going to be easy.

Hold a squat position for the length of each standing ovation. You can clap, too, if you want. Or look angry.

Do situps or crunches for the duration of a story told about someone in the audience. Feel the burn.

Do a lunge every time House Speaker John Boehner doesn’t clap while other people do. Feel free to make it a walking lunge. Maybe to the kitchen to get some water.

Do 10 pushups each time the camera pans to Michelle Obama. Envision arms as toned as hers.

Do a high kick each time Vice President Joe Biden smiles and winks at someone in the audience.

Run a marathon if Biden also adds a high kick to his smile and wink. Start training. You never know …

Hilarious.

If I think of it, I'll post some of my best comebacks to the television. If, that is, I don't pull a hammy.

7:23pm: Holy crap. A few minutes in an I'm already breathing hard. Opps, time to squat.
7:30: Dude! That Supreme Court Justice is asleep!
7:32: Hey! We need more alternative energies, not more use of limited resources!
7:33: Yea! Protect more federal land!
7:36: Yea! Climate change is a fact! Suck it Boehner!
7:something o' clock: EQUAL PAY! EQUAL WORK!  EQUAL PAY! EQUAL WORK!
7:55: Boehner, you don't have to look so skeptical and smirky about health care. Its the law!
7:58: Yes, everyone deserves to know where you stand. Pass my law! (post coming later!)
8:11: Dude! You just called Iran "less powerful." It may be true, but don't piss them off!
8:29: Ow, ow, ow, ow... great standing ovation, but I might be dead.

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